Don’t be an asshole

Assholes are everywhere. Literally and figuratively.

Being an asshole can mean different things to different people. In general, an asshole is someone who takes more than they give. This type of person will interrupt others during a meeting to make their point heard instead of contributing to a constructive discussion. An asshole will want to take credit for many things he wouldn't rightfully deserve. In that way, many politicians are assholes.

There are two types of assholes:

1. Those who believe it's the norm to be successful in life.
2. Those who are entirely unaware of their assholery.

There is rarely a chance to fix the first type of assholes. They believe that being an asshole is the way to get ahead in life. They are ruthless and, many times, have immoral behavior. Being successful by brute force might have had its advantages during the Paleolithic era; fortunately, humans have evolved since then. Empathy and intellect are now more highly valued, leading to progress and a better quality of life for many people today.

It might be good to have the second type of asshole once in a while. It's the type of person who will not hold back on making a tough decision when others will be hesitant to act. They will usually be bad with the way they do things but will have good intentions for doing them. For these second types of assholes, feedback works wonders. Their behavior may be a result of other experiences they've had. They may not be aware that what they say, how they say it, and what they do can hurt many people, including themselves. Feedback will let those people know about a third party's point of view, and it will help them change it. I know this because, at points, I have been the 2nd type of asshole. I cringe remembering things I've said, and I am thankful to the people who gave me feedback and made me more self-conscious.

A few years back, I visited Eventbrite HQ in Silicon Valley. Then VP of Product, Julie Thompson, mentioned one interesting rule:

"Number 1 rule in hiring: Don't hire Assholes."

She shared how they created a profile to hire only people with a cultural fit. In their definition, they avoid hiring assholes.

But not dealing with assholes can extend to other parts of our lives. Hopefully, you are not tied up with a partner who is an asshole. If so, it might be wise to re-evaluate that partnership; the trajectory of your life might depend on it. The same goes for investors and even clients.

How does one do that in an organization? One word: Culture.