Facing our Fears

I became a father nearly seven years ago. When one does, whether you like it or not, you need to become the coach, psychologist, mentor, trainer, caregiver, and psychologist, among others, to another human being.

It's fascinating to watch kids grow up and witness their brain's evolution and instincts kicking in. One such instinct is survival and avoiding what the brain might perceive as a threat. I clearly remember fighting against those instincts when daring to do a bicycle jump or ride on a rollercoaster.

So, waves were an early version of facing our fears for my then 3-year-old kid. Whenever I told him to go under the wave, he'd fight it with all his force and almost developed a fear of the ocean.

So we devised a strategy.

We started small, playing with small waves in shallow water. After a while, we graduated and got closer to the waves, still long after they broke; we played a bit till he got more comfortable. At one point, a rogue-ish wave splashed, and he got a little scared but still decided to keep going.

I explained how having fear is a normal emotion. We all have it; I have it all the time. But facing and overcoming fears is also part of growing up. I told him how as a kid, I was terrified of going on a rollercoaster; only to realize it wasn't so bad after I rode it. It's OK to be fearful, but it's not OK to get paralyzed or controlled by it.

And so, we tried again. A big wave came, and he finally ducked and waited for it to pass. He went out and was ecstatic, albeit still a little wary. We tried again, and again, and again. Each time, he grew more confident and found it more fun. At the end of the day, I couldn't get him out of the water.

It's hard to describe how watching your children face and overcome such simple parts of life feels. It also reminded me to recognize fear in my environment, such as when I need to speak publicly or negotiate a deal.

Recently, we ran into a fantastic short film by Pixar.

In life, we will face many challenges that may scare us. We need to take that first step and keep going. Sometimes, we need our children to remind us that having fear is human, but recognizing and beating it is our responsibility.